The Soul-Eyed Jedi
by Therightshadeofblue
Summary: A woman inhabits a snow planet alone, with a BB unit and a dog by her side. She used to fight for a cause she thought she believed in, but now considers life precious and too short for fighting and violence. But when her life and her planet are threatened, she has no other option but to defend it.
1. Chapter 1

The planet of Astoria was small, sitting on the edge of the Hyperiol system. It was a snow planet, producing upwards of 18-20 inches of snow any given day. But it also held some of the most breathtaking and massive mountain ranges and forests that far surpassed the likes of any akin planet in the system, perhaps even the galaxy. It was quiet, and at night the stars could always be seen, unlike the sun which hardly ever made an appearance. The planet's early inhabitants, after migrating out of the system, were stricken with fear upon the sight of the sun-they had never before seen a star so large, nor so warm.

The history of Astoria is short, and currently the planet is uninhabited. It is a forgotten planet. Many consider it merely uninhabitable, given the migration of the Natives several generations ago. But beneath the snow and the ice, lies a bedrock of rich soil and nutrients, prime for gardening and the preservation of life. But still the planet lay dormant, and has for several hundred years. Only a few stray animal species still lay claim to the land; a large colony of jackrabbits with 6 inch antlers who are docile and shy with razor sharp teeth used the pierce the frozen bark of trees to reach the sap which they consume as their primary food source. And their predators-a group of crystalized snakes who's skin when molting become completely transparent, making them the prime beasts of prey, and beneath the snow and the ice in Astoria's deep cavernous lakes are a special kind of fish that glow when collected in close proximity to other fish, emanating spots of soft pink haze that can only be seen at night. This, in succession with beams of ribbon-like reflected light in the night sky make for an absolutely breathtaking experience in the evenings on Astoria.

Deep within the planet's core, however, is possibly the most breathtaking image of all. A thick, black graphite crystalized diamond makes up the inner core of Astoria. That is, it is rumored to house this incredibly precious stone, but it has never been proven, nor mined for. The story exists solely as folk-lore, as many things in the galaxy tend to do.

On this particular day the planet was exceptionally cold, with a wind that bit through the skin and back out again. The peaks of the mountains were hidden amongst low hanging dark grey clouds, with snow cascading down the slopes in thick blankets. A jackrabbit screeched in the distance, puffs of sound emanating from it's hops could nearly be heard a mile away. All was quiet.

At the base of Astoria's tallest mountain a woman suddenly wakes up, gasping for breath and covered in an inch of snow. She has no idea how she got here, or where here was. Her muscles ached from lack of movement, creaking like the frozen branches of a tree. The sweat that dripped from her brow was beginning to freeze, every molecule turning to micro-sized crystals hardening on the skin, and her hair, black as deep space, began to collect fragments of large snowflakes, dampening her locks for the subsequent freezing of them.

She stood slowly, the snow falling from her body in clumps. She looked around, her eyes squinting as she scanned the ground around her feet. Suddenly she lunged forward and grabbed a discarded pair of metal framed round glasses. After slipping them onto her nose she took a long and calculated look at her surroundings.

Suddenly out of the corner of her eye she spotted movement. She swiftly turned, her hand instinctively reaching for the holster on her thigh. But she paused, noticing it was just a jackrabbit. Slowly she stepped toward it but it quickly bared two rows of razor like teeth and she jumped back quickly. The rabbit closed it's mouth and happily hopped away. The woman's eyes, that were wide and watering from the cold breeze, watched it as it hopped away, wondering where the hell she was.

Then again, there was a rustle of the bushes behind her and she grabbed her weapon quickly-twisting it up in a defensive stance, the deep purple light ignited and the hot buzz illuminated her face melting the frozen beads of sweat.

A small figure stepped out, or more accurately rolled out from behind the bushes and beeped shyly at the woman. Cautiously she lowered her lightsaber as the droid rolled over to her and bumped its head against her calf. She knelt down and peered at it. It was a BB-8 unit, early model, white and grey detailing. Beautiful little guy, she thought.

"What are you doing all the way out here?" She asked it, slipping her lightsaber back into its holster. It beeped wildly, spinning around in front of her. Her smirk faded with its words, "You were abandoned?" It beep and whirred sadly, lowering its head. Then the woman rubbed it's head and straightened one of it's antenna, "That's okay, I've been abandoned too."

The BB-8 unit whirred and beckoned her to follow, and curiously, she did. The little droid was so quick she barely kept up, her bones she stiff and numb. Quickly though she was met with a crash-landed ship, a rather large ship at that, half buried in the snow. The droid rolled up to it and opened a door with a key pad.

"Was this your ship, or did you find it?" It beeped happily and she nodded, looking around the cargo space. "So when your crew crash landed here they were rescued and left you all alone? What horrible people, I'm so sorry BB-8."

The droid beeped softly, and the woman turned to it. She had never before heard such an emotive droid in her life, it almost purred softly at her feet and she slowly sat down next to it, her knees popping under the pressure, but she ignored it.

"My name is Elle, by the way." She said, watching the clouds of air exit her mouth begin to crystalize before they dissipated into nothing. BB-8 beeped and rolled to her other hip and pointed at her lightsaber, Elle smirked sadly and took it out. "I used to be, buddy. But...not anymore."

The droid beeped and beckoned Elle further into the ship. She noticed it was considerably warmer inside, as opposed to outside and she wondered what the walls were made of, or the insulation between. BB-8 led her to the cockpit and explained what had happened and why the ship wasn't able to fly. It was all a bit over her head, she was hardly an engineer, but she understood most of it. The ship needed gas, and every system function was down outside of the weapons canons. Lot of good that'll do them way out here, she thought.

But for a moment, in her hazy confusion mixed with the potentially life threatening chill in the air, she felt safe. Elle did not know how she ended up in this place, on this planet, or with this little droid-but it was all she had at the moment.

Elle subconsciously grazed her hand against her lightsaber and looked out onto the vast tundra ahead of her. The snow covered ground and the merciless flat white and grey clouds made discerning a line in the horizon nearly impossible. But there was safety in that, there was plainness in that. No "one or the other," just flat-no sides. Here she didn't have to fight, she just had to live.


	2. Chapter 2

Elle took the evening to sift through and explore every nook and cranny of that ship. And since it was a rather large ship it took her most of the night. She had found a pencil and a notebook and began to inventory all she could find. BB-8 stayed by her side the entire night, rattling on about this and that, telling her what somethings did that she had never seen before. Elle found the old droid rather amusing and quite intelligent, she considered herself lucky to have landed here in such good company.

The ship had a kitchen and a rather large living quarters, as well as a line of bunks on the far end near the cargo bay, which was considerably smaller than she was accustom to. There was a lavish amount of basic needs supplies, oxygen tanks, non-perishable food packets, boots, coats, you name it. Elle took extensive notes and organized all she could find. She did not know how long she would be here, but with conditions such as these, she thought herself incapable of foreseeing the day she would leave. Voluntarily that is.

Toward the end of the evening as the non-existent sun set and the storm clouds cleared Elle flicked the light on to the armory, the last stop in her search through the ship. Her breath caught in her throat and she quickly shut the door. Not today, she told herself. BB-8 beeped curiously at her feet.

"Hopefully we won't need any of that." She said softly. BB-8 whirred in agreement.

After much effort Elle considered her triumph of complete inventory less of scavenging more of...opportunism. This ship was here, abandoned in the tundra like BB-8–like her. No one else was around to use it, but if there were other inhabitants she'd gladly share the wealth. There was more than enough supplies and food to last several years on one single person, let a lone a group of people.

Elle felt satisfied, and comfortable. Waking up in the middle of no where actually led her off to a better life, for the time being. Though she would have preferred a different climate, she wasn't one to complain. And besides, the extreme climate would ultimately ward off most troublesome visitors to the planet.

As BB-8 began to power down Elle let herself into the living quarters and settled herself into the large bed. It was warm and soft, like nothing she had ever felt before. Suddenly an electric fire place kicked on and began to warm the room. For a moment she began to question how the ship still had power for the non-necessity items, but she did notice a few stray solar panels on the roof, perhaps there were more than she saw.

Tomorrow, she decided, she would investigate and create a more comfortable home for her and the little droid to occupy.

Over the next several days Elle started a routine. She would wake up very early, as she was never a heavy nor excessive sleeper. Then she would make herself something to eat so her energy levels were up for daily treks into the mountains to survey the land.

Armed with her pencil and notebook, a heavy coat, some jackrabbit jerky, her lightsaber, and trusty BB-8 Elle stepped out into the cold, her skin and muscles immediately stiffened, reacting instantly to the drop in temperature.

It was snowing softly, though it was always snowing. The muted pats of the thick snowflakes compacting into the thick blankets of snow, built a dusty layer that would get picked up and twirled around by the wind every so often --the wind that whistled through the trees.

The numbing coldness and constant snow made for a difficult transition from her previous location, but it was beginning to settle into her. Elle was no stranger to extreme weather conditions, and her body temperature was starting to regulate to 5 or below degrees in just a few days. She liked to pretend this was how cold open space was, but she knew that it was much, much colder.

As she heaved her steps up through the trees on the slope of the mountain she took notes of how many steps, the number of trees -- pinning the trunks with either blue or purple based on its placement and distance from the ship and the trees to follow for a safer, more shallow snow path up the mountain.

After a few hours BB-8 suddenly beeped wildly and rolled in front Elle, preventing her from stepping forward.

"BB-8, what is i--"

A deep growl could be heard behind the bushes. Elle then wondered what other ridiculous creature was lurking around in this expansive arctic she had yet to discover. Slowly though, the animal stepped out, baring large fangs and a pelt of thick and fluffy white and black fur.

By god it had been ages since she'd seen one of these. A dog! It was a real dog!

Elle tried to hide her excitement as she held her hands up and cooed, "Hey, it's alright, we aren't going to hurt you..." BB-8 kept his position, ready to protect Elle if need be. But the dog was unmatched, still baring its jowls, snapping and stomping closer, bit by bit. And for a moment Elle saw fear in it's eyes, it was scared of her and the droid.

Slowly Elle stepped over BB-8 and reached into her pocket for the jackrabbit jerky. She laid it gently in front of the dog and backed away.

Cautiously the dog took a couple sniffs before taking the jerky in it's mouth and gnawed down happily, and quickly. Elle took out another piece but this time held it out to the dog, kneeling down. Slowly it stepped forward, no longer growling or snapping. The dog licked her fingers at first and whined before gently taking the jerky out of her hand, as if it understood the significance of a softer touch with the mouth. After it chewed and swallowed it stepped closer to Elle and began licking her face.

Elle erupted in laughter and rubbed it's head affectionately. After the dog settled down Elle took that moment to look for an identification number on the tuft of it's neck between its fur. Luckily she found one.

019987PAX.

"Hello there 019987PAX, it's a pleasure to meet you." The dog lifted it's paw and pressed it against her shoulder, right above her heart. "I think I'll call you Pax." The dog barked and she smiled brightly. She looked down at BB-8 who seemed to give a reluctant beep in response. Jealously even in a droid is still jealously, programed or not. "Come on BB-8, let's show Pax the ship."

That evening Elle sat by her fire with Pax, who's head laid lazily in her lap. She read through her notes from the day, nodded and humming to herself every now and then. The planet was not very big, yet she had yet to explore every part of it. That was her goal, it was a simple goal but it was hers.

BB-8 whirred behind her and rolled up to her. Elle smiled at the droid who beep at her. He noticed signs of a slight fever within her and was growing worried.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." BB-8 beep again and she sighed, "But you're right, I better program an S.O.S. message for you to send out just in case."

After programing a voice message for BB-8 to send out on the off-chance something were to happen to her; sickness, death, or otherwise. She let out a long sigh and rolled on her back. She stared at the ceiling and began to feel a pounding in her head, a pressure she'd never really felt before on her right temple. It made her sluggish and sensitive to the light of the fire.

It pulsed mildly for several minutes and Elle thought that maybe BB-8 was right, maybe she was getting sick. But after a little while the pain subsided and her energy level went up. She settled back onto her make shift pallet and sighed. The fire crackled and BB-8 buzzed out of the room, Pax stood and twisted himself on a pillow around and around until he got fully comfortable. Elle glanced around the dark room and was suddenly overcome with a sense of peace, and silence.

She began to think of something her father once told her about peace. That peace, as ambiguous of a concept it may be, is from within. Externalized forces do not cause peace, of course there are physical threats to the concept--but ultimately fighting for it will not achieve it. Just because an obstacle is averted, life does not revert back to the way it once was, no matter how much it may seem so.

Elle was haunted by the acts she had taken part of in her past. But she knew there was no way to take them back. She could only continue to separate herself from that person she once was, the Jedi title she once held. But she must also remember those things and learn from them. Fighting with the resistance hardened her shell and she knew should would never be rid of that, and she was cold, calculated out of necessity -- like the snow that fell from the sky.

"Lest you forget who you are." Where some of the last words she heard from her mentor, who insisted she keep her lightsaber after severing ties with the resistance. At first she refused, but keeping it felt only right. Throwing away her past was not the way to learn from it. "Forgiveness is not easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one that inflicted it. And yet, there is no peace without forgiveness."

She had to forgive herself. No matter how difficult. She must forgive herself and the choices she made. No use in blaming anyone else.

Elle closed her eyes when suddenly the headache returned. She struggled to open her eyes again, this time the pain more severe. It felt as though someone was digging into her head, into her mind. Like someone was trying to get in.

She remembered this feeling, when someone in the Force tried to get information out of her. But it never worked on her, her mind was like a steel trap and not even a single iota of a thought was forced out of her. But this time, right this moment, this felt different.

There was so much pain, a blinding white pain but before she knew it, it was over. The pain lifted off her skull like a breeze, like the clouds clearing for the evening. She breathed out heavily and opened her eyes.

For the briefest moment the floor in which she once lay on was no longer cushioned by the pillows and blankets, but was a hard and freezing cold metal. Then in the quickest instant, a single blink and she was back on her pillows. She had not moved, she was not dreaming.

Elle sat up slowly and scratched behind Pax's ear. The blaze of the fire dwindled down, giving the illusion of a real fire. And she stared at it, her brow crinkled as she struggled to understand what had just happened. It was obviously something involving the Force. But why? And how? As far as she knew she was the only person on this planet, or this system. Only someone with an incredible connection to the Force could conjure up such a remote connection.

Who could have done it?


	3. Chapter 3

A year had passed on Astoria. It was a cold year, a year that hit an assured record breaking -49 degrees on the coldest night. Over the course of the year Elle had built a green house inside the ship, she had found a massive bag of seeds and was enjoying a daily helping of fruit and potatoes. Along with her exploration of the planet, this was her top priority.

Elle currently sat in the cockpit, an area of the ship she found most calming. She looked out into the shimmery whiteness and held a soft, contented expression.

She wrote in her journal this day, like many days before. She had forced herself to include the activity in her daily routine. She marked today as the one year anniversary of her arrival to Astoria. "A good year," she wrote.

Could a year really pass if one truly never sees the sun? She thought comically to herself. It had been a year since she'd seen the sun, and honestly Elle didn't miss it. She had become completely acclimated to the cold, her body even craved it some days.

Like today.

The cold helped remedy her headaches, that were as frequent as they were random. At any point in the day over the past year she would expect a blinding pain, that would cripple her. And she would push back mentally, taking a hold of whatever solid object or form was beside her and used it as leverage. It seemed the harder she pushed back the harder they came, but eventually the pain would lift if she kept at it. And she had yet to revisit the location displacement she had experienced during the first episode. It was a fluke, she assumed her mind was just playing tricks with her. Jedi minds tend to do strange things like that.

Elle had no way of explaining these headaches, or resolving them. She had no medicine, only tea which helped very little. Currently she was enjoying a large mug, it warmed her insides and she hoped to whatever gods existed that she wouldn't have to deal with a headache during her trek up the mountain.

Suddenly a pot crashed onto the ground and Elle leaned forward to see BB-8 hastily picking it up. She had awoken to the sound of BB-8 bustling about in the kitchen this morning, an action which it was still doing. Pax barked at the droid from his bed, obviously in efforts to get it to settle down. Elle smirked and went back to her journal.

"Today, I was awoken by my trusty droid BB-8 rustling in the kitchen since dawn. The droid is currently still doing so because today is the day we finally make the trek to the top of Colt, Astoria's tallest mountain."

Elle closed her journal and began to get herself ready for the day ahead of them.

* * *

Before heading out Elle took up a light pack, boots laced up her shins, a thick sweater and a thick coat. She triple checked everything, just to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything. Then she paused at the exit door, and turned around to find BB-8 gesturing for her lightsaber, in a box where she kept it on the highest shelf in the ship.

"No BB, I don't need it."

But what if you do? It beeped.

"Then I'll find some other way to defend myself." BB-8 stood ground, not budging. After several moments Elle sighed, and held out her hand, "All right you big baby. I'll do what you want, as always."

The lock to the box flipped open and the lightsaber flew into Elle's palm. The metal was cold and hard—but familiar. She hadn't held it in months and she felt it call for her.

Elle quickly removed her blaster and slid the lightsaber in its place, as she rushed out the door in mild frustration.

It took the trio six hours to hike up the mountain in the snow, stopping for a break every now and then. A few hundred yards from the peak Elle began to feel a dull pain in her head.

Not now, please not now. She thought to herself and tried to push it away but it only came harder and Elle fell into the snow, groaning out. Pax ran to her and started to lick her face in some form of assistance but she pushed him away softly.

The pain was crippling, numbing, paralyzing. Elle could not move, her hands stuck in her hair as she breathed out, the wind stinging her face like needles.

But suddenly, the wind stopped. Elle opened her eyes and felt the ground beneath her no longer soft, but cold and flat. Like before. She looked around and did not see the mountain, but a long and narrow hallway. Foot steps echoed and she heard the sounds of engines near by. Still unable to move she closed her eyes again and pushed harder, yelling out.

She began to hear BB-8 buzzing in panic and Pax barking softly. Then she felt the cold wind on her cheeks again. She opened her eyes and the pain vanished, along with the hallway.

Pax nudged his head underneath Elle's back and pushed her up to a sitting position. Elle held onto the dog as he pulled her up to a stand. BB-8 beeped at her and she nodded.

"I'm alright now." She said, mostly to herself. She took a few breaths and looked up to the steep slope above her. "Come on, we don't have a lot of light left."

Elle took a calculated step and then another, just to make sure she could walk. And so they continued but, all the while Elle could think of nothing else but that hallway.

Soon they reached the peak, and the first thing Elle did was take a long, full rotation view of the planet from this rare and distant vantage point. Astoria was beautiful. She could see her ship, small as a pebble below. She stood there for several minutes, admiring the view when she suddenly felt her thoughts becoming cloudy and a darkness spread over her. She turned around and walked toward the middle of the summit.

Elle spied a hole in the mountain, as though it was not a mountain at all, but a volcano. She felt a coldness that differed from the cold she was used to; a deep, dark cold—wet and ominous, a raw insidiousness. A deep howl echoed from the hole, the wind cutting through the peak of the mountain, a pirouette of pressure ebbing and flowing. Pushing and pulling.

She recalled the tales of the black diamond in this planet's core but never really believed in them. Until now. She could not see the diamond, but she knew this is where it was. Deep down where the snow could not reach.

Elle pulled her lightsaber out from its holster but hesitated to ignite it. This was darkness, the Darkside. How could she have been so naive, of course there was a dark force on this planet. She'd felt it since day one. It had to be the source of her headaches. The closer she got the worse they became.

A conundrum suddenly affronted Elle then, like it had many times before. The problem of the dark and the light. She felt the darkness pulling her in, after all this time away from the war, from all of it, she still always felt that pull. The nudge of the Darkside.

Quickly she put her lightsaber down and turned. She then, with shaking hands, pulled out her survey notebook and began taking notes, vigorously to distract herself.

The Force was strong within her, but she must remain neutral. A breeze caught a whisper from her memories, the words of her mentor: "Your training as a Jedi is never over."

Elle recognized this concept but refused. The best she could do for now was train herself to resist. Her neutrality was what earned her a purple lightsaber, the color between red and blue, the mix. Her brush with the Darkside in the past ached within her memory, when she was pulled from it faster than she gave into it—all the while knowing exactly what she was doing and why. Death is a funny thing, and can make people do even funnier things, in moments of crisis.

This planet, this forgotten, frozen planet was indeed her: frozen in this fight.

BB-8 beeped at her feet and she sighed. Snow was coming soon. Peace was coming soon too, it told her.

"It's what I chose for myself, more or less." BB-8's head moved and nuzzled against her leg. Elle smirked gently. "I didn't ask to be a Jedi…"

BB-8 buzzed, refuting her statement. She is still choosing to remain a Jedi.

"Am I though? Choosing to remain one with the Force? I think it's all nonsense at its deepest."

BB-8 was having none of it. A lawful neutral was what this galaxy needed, in fact needed now more than ever. Elle rolled her eyes and sighed. In many ways she still felt guilty for leaving the Resistance, if she had the option to leave this planet she might consider going back. She was happy here and the Resistance always found ways to put her into the worst possible missions that hit their door. She was distrusted amongst the ranks for her rash and calculating personality, often herself acting alone to get things done. Which is why she refused to fight any longer. It was just too hard.

"It's a little late to join back in, don't you think?" She mused to the droid. But instead BB-8 beeped and whirred.

It's never too late.

* * *

There was hardly any light out when the three returned to the ship. Elle quickly disrobed of her half frozen, half covered in snow clothing. She kicked her boots off and settled into her bed. She stretched out her aching limbs and sighed as her body settled into the mattress.

Instantly her body stilled and her mind quieted, Elle was fast asleep in seconds.

That night Elle had a dream. Which wasn't unusual, she had dreams most nights. But this was different. This dream was so vivid she could feel it in her bones.

She was in her room, the fireplace lit and it was warm—hot even. And another person was there. A man, dressed completely in black.

At first it seemed like a memory to her, but she did not recognize the man. The man stepped toward her, the fire casting a deep contrast against his face, the left side eloped in darkness. He touched her first, his skin like tiny petals, smooth and light. He touched her jaw, and he was hardly a breathe away from her face, his body against hers.

"I need you." He said, his deep voice echoing in her mind but reverberated off her skin like a droplet of rain. His breath was warm, stinging her skin and thawing out the chill in her cheek. "I need you." He said again, his hands in her hair, his fingertips budding the soft flesh of her neck.

Elle's mind was foggy and she felt her eyes close and open slowly. Her hands went up to his chest and she felt a double beat from his heart. The warmth of his body flooded her mind, and her skin. It muted her concept of reality and blurring the lines of what she needed and what she wanted, her concept of what was real and what was merely fiction, being dreamt inside her mind while she slumbered.

The man held her hips in his large hands, slow like molasses pulling her to him. She closed her eyes, a moan deep in her throat and a beat of sweat dripped from her temple.

Her lips where under his chin when she whispered back, "I need you."

Elle jumped awake and sat up, gasping for breath. Her body was completely covered in sweat, and not a cold sweat. Her heart raced and she was burning up. Quickly, Elle jumped out of bed and ran through the ship and out the door into the subzero night.

She fell to her knees in a pile of snow, her bare and exposed skin hardened as thick snowflakes fell on her shoulders and back. Still heaving for breath she looked into the sky and saw the ribbon of light, green and pink shimmers. And it seemed so calm, but her insides were on fire.

That dream it…it seemed so real. It seemed too real. Elle touched her own jaw and felt the sweat rub off onto her fingers. She felt exposed, and scared, her head felt dizzy—unable currently to discern whether those touches were real. Or whether the Elle in that dream was real, it seemed like a complete out of body experience, where Elle was not in control even in the slightest since of the word.

But she liked it. Oh did she like it, that lack of control—the feeling of deep and rich passion filled her memory from the dream. In her subconscious, the Elle that had full control felt a deep and strong connection with this man and in turn began to feel it herself, in reality.

She just had no idea who he was.


	4. Chapter 4

Elle settled into her blankets, a light breeze had caught through a crack somewhere in her quarters but she was too exhausted to deal with it at the moment. It created a soft whistle into the room and was actually quite soothing, but definitely needed to be dealt with in the morning lest she develop a sickness.

Elle closed her eyes softly, feeling her warm breath bounce off the blanket and back onto her cheeks, creating a humid bubble of air.

Elle's eyes fluttered, her body uncertain of sleep but achingly exhausted. The night previous was weighing on her, and she thought nothing but it for the whole day. She did not return to sleep after cooling herself off in the snow, so the current sting of tire in her eyes pulled her lids shut. She breathed out once, then in and out even slower. Then her mind went blank.

"You feel cold." He spoke softly. The warm light of the fire fizzed in and out, the flames seemed to lick the walls, and Elle's bare shoulders that were exposed to the air. His hand, large as before but rough this time, touched her cheek gently.

"It's cold where I am." Elle said softly, her voice nearly cracking. Her hands fluttered over his chest, down the fabric of his shirt. Thick material, and black, all black.

The man took his finger and traced a line over her eyelid, down her cheek and neck to her chest-as though he were tracing something into her skin. His hands reached to her hips and he pulled her close to his. Elle breathed out and gripped the back of his shirt and pulled it over his head. Slowly the man slipped her shirt off and slid her pants down her legs.

Elle stood there exposed for barely a second before the man picked her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. And for a brief moment Elle saw his face clearly, a long scar down his face. It was faint, but it was there-with deep ember eyes that spoke only in murmurs. Then he kissed her; his lips soft but his kiss; hard and soft at the same time, like snow. Elle kissed him back, holding her arms around his neck for support.

They fell on the bed, their arms wrapped around each other as they twisted in the blankets; kissing and touching, grasping onto skin. Flashes of skin, muscles, and darkness, her mind fogging up with breathless passion. Nearly blinded by it, there was no escaping this feeling and she didn't want to.

The man hovered over her, between her legs as he kissed her knee down her thigh. His hands held a possessive grip on her hips. She moaned as his lips touched her skin. Her heart began to flutter with impassive and irregular heart beats with every subtle movement from the man.

Elle felt her fists clinch in his thick hair and her breath stopped. It all went black.

Suddenly Elle sat up, her blankets falling around her waist. The room was dark and freezing.

A dream.

Elle sighed as she unclenched her fists, the fingers cracking from the pressure and small moon-shaped fingernail imprints were left on her palm. The breeze from the crack seemed larger and colder.

Quickly, with shaking legs, Elle found the crack and spent the rest of the night working on patching it up.

* * *

The following morning Elle decided to take a lone walk into the mountains. It was not as cold as it typically tended to be on an early morning, but Elle wasn't complaining.

As Elle walked through the snow she began to think of her dream and the man. After last night she felt like these weren't dreams, more like visions or something else she couldn't quite put on her finger on.

After about an hours hike Elle found a nice bunch of trees and decided to settle there for a while. Slowly she slipped her coat and under layer off leaving her with just a long sleeved tunic and pants. She stood up straight and closed her eyes.

It had been a while since she'd done any of this but with these dreams and her headaches worsening she thought it wouldn't hurt to reach out.

She breathed in and out until she felt a heavy weight lifted and her mind explored the tendrils of balance and energy within the mountains, even within the frozen lakes and the atmosphere above. She saw everything.

Even the darkness. It quickly started to creep into her mind and Elle struggled to push it out. It cried for her suddenly and she felt a weakness present itself. Her unconscious state was this weakness. She heard screams in her mind and a deep pounding.

She began to panic and without a conscious effort her lightsaber flew from her side bag into her hand and ignited. Elle opened her eyes ready to fight, but there was nothing there. Just trees and snow.

Elle breathed a sigh of relief and lowered her lightsaber. Just as she did she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her mind, a digging and aching pain. It brought her to her knees as she clinched her teeth.

Then Elle knew, she had gotten close to something.

* * *

Again, that night as Elle settled in for sleep. She finished her tea and pulled the blankets over her shoulders. She was neither excited nor motivated to sleep but she knew that if she didn't she would fall apart.

As she drifted she heard his voice. A disembodied voice, she was not quite asleep yet she still heard him. Her eyes flicked open for a moment, then closed. A subtle scent of bergamot filled her nose and her vision went dark.

Hands draped around her waist from behind as the man kissed her shoulders. She moaned and pushed herself back into him. He squeezed her breasts and kissed and bit her neck. Suddenly she spun around and climbed on top of the man. She lowered herself onto him and felt his fingernails dig into her back as he moaned softly.

Elle gasped at the pain in her back but closed her eyes in ecstasy as he met her hips with his and filling her completely. The feel of his hands running down her back, holding her closer and closer to him drove her wild.

He kissed her quickly, and groaned out. Elle felt her insides begin to swell and she held her breath.

Suddenly Elle jumped awake at the sound of Pax barking and breathed out heavy with an exasperated tone. Her vision was dizzy and she almost forgot where she was.

Then a slight pain creeped onto her back. She reached around and felt nothing but the pain was still there.

Quickly Elle jumped up from the bed and flipped the light on in the bathroom. She lifted her shirt and looked as best she could manage at her back in the mirror.

At this, Elle almost fainted. Scratch marks.

It was nearing dawn as Elle stood outside the ship, the endless darkness slowly fading away and replaced by the vast scape of white. Elle's mind ran wild, trying to understand what her mind was trying to tell her. Was this real? The scratches were definitely real. The smell was definitely real. Bergamot. Like citrus.

Elle sipped her tea and watched Pax try to catch snowflakes in his mouth. BB-8 buzzed softly at her feet, always the loyal droid.

The snow that fell was soft and gentle, hardly a sound could be heard.

Then, in the not so far distance, Elle saw a spotlight in the snow. Then a large black ship landed. BB-8 spurred and started scanning the ship.

Potential threat, BB-8 assessed. Elle's heart stopped in her throat. But she quickly recovered and held out her hand. Within a second she caught her lightsaber as she quickly made her way toward the ship.


	5. Chapter 5

Many Years Ago…

Killian Nori was the Jedi who trained Elle. He was a man who never took no for an answer. And at the same time, never a yes either. Killian knew there were always more than two solutions to a problem, no matter the issue. Life was not black and white--red or blue. It was a mix of tertiary colors.

"Elle, you are down on the ground. Beaten, humiliated. Odds are not in your favor, what do you do?"

Elle laid face up on the soft ground made of cork, arms outstretched and her eyes closed. She breathed in and out, a mild chill came over her as she connected herself to the force. Killian stood above her, his arms crossed behind his back, a calm composure.

"I pause." She said.

"Why?"

"Why not?" Killian smirked at her response as he picked up and held a dowel rod in both hands over her head. Suddenly he heaved up and brought the rod down, but Elle instantly caught it between her hands in a clap. She gripped it and shoved it back into Killian's forehead, knocking him to the ground. Elle jumped up and held the rod over his head.

"You are on the ground," Elle repeated back to him, "Odds are not in your favor."

Killian smiled and stood slowly, knocking the rod from her hands. He rested an arm around her shoulder and walked with her through the garden of his home, "You don't need me to tell you, but the odds are always in your favor; as a Jedi, and as you-Elle Gana. The Force exists within you in equal measure, it is a constant struggle of balance within the mind. The galaxy needs more Jedi's like you, Elle."

"You mean like you, Master Killian?" Elle smirked.

"Yes, I suppose by proxy me as well. But I feel I must be completely honest with you, having taken on your training you must know this will be my last duty." Killian and Elle sat together on a bench over looking a field.

"What do you mean?" She inquired.

"As a Jedi, my last act will be to train you to my furthest ability. After that my life will, oh--how they say...be complete." Killian spoke solemnly, looking out into the field.

"But Master Kill-"

"Our next lesson with be on accepting the fates you cannot change, young Elle." Elle rolled her eyes and played with the end of her lightsaber. "Do you want to know why I've chosen you as my last responsibility?"

"I think you're going to tell me anyway." Killian scuffed and brushed his shoulder with hers.

"Give me your hand." Killian took her hand and held it up, palm facing outwards. "Look at your hand. When I first met this hand it nearly killed me. You have so much untainted, natural power in these hands-I was in shock. Only the highest ranking had that type of immeasurable connection to the force, but the laws of our galaxy never seemed to apply to you."

"I think you're being a bit dramatic, Killian."

"Shut up." Killian said, still gazing at her hand in wonder. "This hand moved a ship, stole my lightsaber straight out of my hand, knocked me clean off my feet and half way across a loading bay. I thought I was about to be confronted by a Sith Lord--but no...just a little girl, who was upset our ship landed near her mother's flower beds." Elle smirked, remembering her temper tantrum fondly. "I had never met anyone like you before. And I knew in the wrong hands you could be swayed to an extreme, I couldn't let that happen."

"I think I could have held my own, eventually."

"You think that, young Elle, but you do not know it for certain." He sighed, lowering her hand and taking her lightsaber into his own. "You must think, and consider all options, and learn to let go of the options not in your midst of capability. Our roles are difficult, as a branch of the Jedi who refuse to take a side in a war that's been raging for years, and will continue longer than we realize. We must think above ourselves, fight for what we think is right, if fighting is right, for the cultivation of peace. We are privy to this natural power, you and I, like all Jedi and Sith alike. We must be careful with it, lest we lose focus of what really matters."

"And what really matters, Master Killian?"

Killian lifted her lightsaber to her, "Preservation of life."

* * *

Currently…

"Hello!" Elle waved at the lone person who exited the mysterious ship, the person began to shiver at the cold. "It's subzero out here, you're gonna have to find something a bit warmer!" The man nodded and ran back into the ship.

Elle quickly checked her side bag for her lightsaber just to be sure. Satisfied it was there she stepped up to the ship as the man came back out in a massive coat. Elle almost chuckled at the absurdity.

"Do you live here?" The man asked, she nodded. "Anyone else live here?"

"Why do you want to know?" She asked suspiciously, looking around his big fluffy coat and into the ship for any weapons or other passengers. The man wore all black and a little black felted hat. He looked...official, for lack of a better word. "Are you alone? Did you pilot this ship here?"

The man was silent for a moment before reaching into his coat, Elle quickly unsheathed her lightsaber and blocked a shot from the man's blaster. He shot at her again and again until she finally got close enough to stab him in the chest. And for a moment she was surprised it got through that massive coat.

Suddenly she heard a commotion in the ship and cursed. She nodded at BB-8, "Stay here."

The droid beeped nervously, Be Careful, and she slowly stepped onto the ship-her footsteps silent. The lights were bright, the interior almost completely black and grey. She knew it immediately. The First Order.

In the back of the bay a door slid open and four stormtroopers flooded toward her shooting at her from all angles. She quickly dove for cover and let out a nervous breath. She closed her eyes and calmed herself.

Then everything went blank and she twisted her body out from behind cover and ran for the stormtroopers. She killed two instantly, and kicked one in the chest, knocking him into the other.

They both stood and charged for her but she quickly slashed both at the same time. They fell to the ground with a thud.

Elle breathed heavily, her hair messy, her glasses crooked. She felt a small droplet of sweat trickle from her temple down her face and neck. Slowly she stood up straight, still observing the area around her. That was a little too easy, Elle thought to herself.

Suddenly a blast came out from behind her and Elle fell like a rock to the ground. She had been hit in the side, her hand immediately clamped at the wound, but blood still gushed out between her fingers. She twisted and looked at a lone stormtrooper in the corner, who's armor was only half on--obviously was still getting ready when Elle barged in. She gripped her side harder and coughed out, a spatter of blood coated the metal floor around her.

The stormtrooper stepped forward but was suddenly electrocuted, sparks coating the trooper's armor like lightning in the sky, and fell to the floor in an unconscious or possibly deceased, slump.

Elle looked around to find the cause and saw BB-8. Elle smiled and shook as she struggled to stand. Always loyal, that little droid.

"I thought I told you to stay behind." BB-8 beeped back, I said be careful.

Elle chuckled as she caught a good grip on the floor but slipped back hard on the ground. She groaned out, still cough.

Should I send out the distress signal? BB-8 chimed erratically.

"Yes." Elle murmured. She began to crawl toward the door as BB-8 rushed back to their ship to send out Elle's prerecorded distress call to the Resistance.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: If you can spare a couple moment please leave a review and let me know what you think!**

* * *

General Leia Organa stood at the helm of the new Resistance Starcruiser, watching the slow movement of the stars. A Communications Officer suddenly ran up behind her, pulling her attention from the beautiful speckles.

"General, an emergency transmission was just received."

"What does it say?"

"Not sure, it's encrypted, addressed to you." Leia took the drive from his hand and plugged it into the reader in the middle of the room, to a screen for her eyes only.

"Voice activation: please state your name." A robotic voice spoke.

"Leia Organa."

"Confirmed."

A hologram started, a woman sitting on her knees addressed the recorder. Leia did not recognize her.

"Hello, if you are watching this transmission it means I am in either terrible danger or injured beyond simple repair. I've advised my droid to release this transmission to the Resistance if I were to ever be incapable myself. My name is Elle Gana and I am on the planet Astoria in the Hyperiol system. I've instructed my droid to now play you the events which led to this emergency transmission. Please hurry, my life is in your hands." The hologram faded out and was replaced by a video transmission of the woman fighting several stormtroopers then getting shot in the side with a blaster by a hidden trooper. Then the droid electrocuted the shooter. The last thing Leia saw was the woman on the ground covered in blood. What caught her eye particularly was the lightsaber at her side.

"It can't be." She muttered to herself. "Go get Poe, I want him and Doctor Post to assemble a small team to head to the Hyperiol system immediately."

"Yes General." Lieutenant Connix replied and ran for the flight played the original hologram over again and sighed out. It couldn't be.

* * *

"The Hyperiol System? That place is deserted, why would we go there?" Poe's brow scrunched at Lieutenant Connix who just shrugged.

"There was an emergency transmission sent from Astoria to General Organa, it seemed pretty serious."

Poe nodded, "Alright, I'll grab the med unit and we'll head out immediately."

As Poe and the small team of three began boarding the ship General Organa pulled Poe aside.

"Poe, this girl was attacked by a team of stormtroopers, so be conscious of your surroundings, there may be more."

Poe nodded, "I'll keep an eye out."

"Good boy." She winked and Poe hesitated for a brief moment.

"I gotta ask, why exactly do you want me to pilot this mission?"

Leia shook her head, "Now Commander, if I had the ability to tell you, don't you think I would?" Poe sighed and nodded. "I'm trusting you with this, Poe."

Poe nodded again, "Yes m'am."

* * *

The Resistance evac ship landed on Astoria within half a day of the transmission. They knew the cold would be a shock at first but when the small team of four stepped out the scene before them was harder to stomach. A First Order cruiser, six bodies of troopers and a captain lay on the floor of the bay. A long trail of pink, red snow trailed from the First Order ship to another ship about a hundred yards away. The doctor rushed past Poe's side toward the ship.

Suddenly a BB-8 unit crashed out of the door and rushed over to the group, beeping wildly.

Inside, it said, inside.

The doctor ran in with his two assistants, Poe followed suite. Inside the ship they saw the woman, Elle, on the ground in a pool of blood clutching her side. She was unconscious but still breathing.

"Poe can you give me a hand?" Post asked and Poe gently grabbed her upper body and helped move the girl to a table top. The BB-8 unit whirred around nervously, taking note of everything happening. The two assistants began cutting the woman's tunic open and sponging the blood off the gaping wound.

Poe spotted a dog in the corner. It looked scared. Fright, Poe had discovered, is a pretty universal emotion and looks similar on all creatures. Slowly he stepped toward it with his hand outreached and scratched its head. It whined and shivered, staring at his owner on the table.

Poe looked at its collar and saw "PAX" embroidered on it.

"It's alright Pax buddy, she'll be okay." He let his hand subconsciously pet Pax's head as he took a long look around the was a decent sized ship, he could tell it was no longer running. And this woman has made it into a home, nice and cozy.

He wondered momentarily why this girl was so important, why the First Order landed on this planet to begin with.

Suddenly the woman on the table groaned and the doctor sighed out, "Thank god," in prayer that she was actually alive and kept stitching her wound.

Poe stood up from his kneel and walked toward the door, "I'm going to search the other ship for safety, call me if anything happens." He told one of the nurses and walked out the door. Quickly the dog was right at his heels, following him outside. Poe smirked and made his way to the other ship.

Slowly he stepped around the person at the base of the ramp, observing the hole that went clean through his chest. There's no way a blaster could have done damage like that, he thought.

Poe stepped up into the ship's bay and glanced around at the other fallen troopers. Each trooper, except for one, had deep burnt slashmarks through their armor. Completely through to the skin, clean liness.

Poe had only seen this type of damage once before. At the ground, nextto a small pool of spattered blood he saw something and for a moment thought his eyes were playing tricks with his mind before he picked the weapon up. Then he realized what it was.

Quickly Poe ran back to the other ship and threw the door open.

"She's a Jedi." He said breathlessly.

"What?" Doctor Post said, glancing up from his stitching.

"She's a Jedi, she killed all those troopers in that ship by this." Poe held the lightsaber up and put it on the table. Post's eyes widened and his hand began to shake. "Come on doc, no pressure just—you know, don't kill her."

This girl, other than Rey, was one of the last Jedi in the galaxy. How had the First Order found her after all this time? In an abandoned system on a snow planet? And from the looks of it she had been on this planet a while.

"It makes sense. Any normal person with this type of injury would be dead in seconds with that much blood loss...just makes me a little nervous. I've never...operated on a Jedi before." Post sucked in abreath and got back to stitching.

One assistant placed a needle into the woman's arm that fed her veins with a fast acting pain killer and internal healing solution. But Post quickly looked up and spoke.

"Cut that dosage in half, we don't know what type of reaction it'llhave when mixed with midiclor-"

Suddenly the woman gasped and her eyes shot open. She struggled to sit up but Poe gently pushed her shoulders back onto the table, and she complied—too weak to fight back. But her eyes were open and she looked at Poe and for a moment she thought she was hallucinating. She narrowed her eyes at him, then glanced around the room in a circular haze. Poe sucked in a breath and smiled his trade mark smile back ather, hoping to ease her mind. Her eyes then fluttered back shut and Poe rubbed her shoulders for a second before letting go.

Oh no, Poe thought to himself, she's beautiful.


	7. Chapter 7

Poe watched the woman as she slept, fiddling with his thumbs. One of the medics came in and checked her pulse and wound.

"Are you sure you don't mind watching her, Poe?" The pilot shook his head.

"No, no, it's fine. I'd like to help out as much as I can." He said earnestly. She nodded and smiled.

"Well if you need a break just let me know, I'll just be over in the evac ship." Poe smiled and nodded in response. She left the room and Poe sighed out.

He leaned back in the chair and looked at the woman again. Her brow creased for a moment and he wondered if she was dreaming, and if she was—what she was dreaming about. Poe only felt mild guilt about watching her this way while she slept, he was watching to make sure she didn't randomly die throughout the day.

But still he watched her with a soft smile on his face. He didn't know her. Only that her name was Elle, she was a Jedi, and for some reason Leia didn't feel he was important enough to be privy to that information. But he let it go.

He was more excited by the fact that she was a Jedi. Or at least he hoped he was. She owned a lightsaber and killed a small squad of stormtroopers. So if she wasn't a Jedi, she was pretty damn close.

And god, was she beautiful. Dark hair and olive tinted skin—Poe ran his hands over his eyes. What was he thinking? They were there to help this girl.

Maybe he did need a break after all.

* * *

"You're hurt." He said, touching the area of her stomach covered in a thick bandage. Elle sighed, her skin shivering in pain and chill. "What happened?"

"Someone shot me." She whispered to the man, who laid next to her in the bed. He held his arm around her waist and rested his forehead against hers. Elle felt cold, freezing actually. The man was not warm like usual, and his chilling breath sent goose bumps down the skin it touched.

"Why did they shoot you?" He asked, his hand ran through her hair.

"Because I..." She paused, her mind foggy and her vision blurring. The smell of bergamot filled her nose and it sent her thoughts racing. He was real, his body-a solid form under her palm.

"Tell me." His grip on her hair felt the slightest bit tighter. Elle tried to push back but he grabbed her neck, at first tenderly.

"Because I killed them." She said, his grip on her neck tightened and she struggled to push herself away. She saw his eyes, and the sadness and anger in them. He kissed her then, and she felt the hand soften around her neck but still held-a finger slowly caressed her jaw. He pulled away and began to speak when-

Elle jumped awake in an instant of panic, her side burning—an ache through the entire left side of her body. The last thing she remembered was fighting off a group stormtroopers who had landed on her planet. With the First Order. And she had dreamt of him, the man, what had that meant?

As her vision was fuzzy, she looked around her bed and table but failed to find her glasses. She sighed and tried to concentrate on the area around her. Slowly she absorbed the room and noticed a young medical specialist in a chair beside her bed asleep. Resistance by the look of it. She was thankful BB-8 had gotten the message out so quickly.

Elle attempted to stand slowly but her side stung with a sharp pain that released itself through each of her limbs. She slowly shifted herself to a sitting position, her legs draping over the side of the bed opposite the sleeping medic. She breathed in fully and out fully, realigning her conscious with her reality. She had no idea how long she was unconscious for, but when she had dreamt of the man, his touch felt so real. It was growing more and more real with each dream.

Slowly Elle stood up, with rickety legs like a new born animal. She held her side that was bound tightly with a microfiber around her entire stomach, that both constricted her movements and increased her ability to move without too much pain. She slipped on a thick sweater and gently stepped out of her room. Following the wall she found the shelf where she kept her spare set of glasses and slipped them on.

Her eyes narrowed and she perked her ears, searching for any sign of BB-8 or Pax. But heard and saw nothing. Slowly, with a slight limp Elle began to search the ship for her companions, growing slightly worried they were harmed in the fight.

After several minutes of searching Elle stepped through the threshold of her greenhouse and spotted Pax and BB-8 with a man in a tan leather jacket. As she stepped closer she quickly gained the attention of him and her companions.

"Oh hello, I hope you don't mind, it's very nice in here compared to outside." He spoke, referencing the level of humidity she kept the room at for the plants. Elle paused and narrowed her eyes at him. He was handsome, with tanned skin, dark curly hair, and a knee-weakening smile. Was he real? Slowly she lifted her hand to his shoulder and pushed it. After watching his body react to touch she smiled.

"Sorry, just-making sure." She laughed nervously. "I was wondering where my dog and droid ended up." She glared playfully at BB-8 who shied away from her and hid behind the man's legs. "You must be special, they don't tend to like anyone."

"They're the special ones, especially your BB-8 unit. Even mine doesn't speak so highly of me."

"You have a BB unit?"

"Almost the same as yours, but white and orange." The man spoke and Elle nodded, smiling at BB.

"BB-8's saved my life more than it should've, I couldn't ask for a better partner." Elle suddenly felt a gentle breeze take ahold of a scent, like rosewater, off the man. The smell calmed her, like the breeze of summer…when she was young.

The man spoke again, "I think you're the only person I've met that sees the usefulness of a BB-8 unit, they're absolutely-"

"One of a kind." Elle and Poe spoke at the same time. They both chuckled gently.

"I'm Poe by the way, Poe Dameron, Resistance Commander Pilot." He stuck his hand out and she shook it, weakly. Still not feeling quite herself in front of his man.

"Elle Gana, but I'm sure you're already aware of that." Poe smiled then again, and Elle felt her heart melt. She then attempted to completely ignore the feeling she just got in the pit of her stomach.

"Yes, I am. And I must say it's a pleasure. You really ripped those troopers a new one, I'm impressed."

She chuckled, "Yes, that's one way of putting it...but thank you. I am quite surprised I was able to do so, so easily. But I guess these stitches in my side are indicative of my rusty experience...I was lucky you got to me so quickly, thank you."

Poe shook his head, "Anything for a fellow rebel." Elle looked down and nodded, subconsciously. She wasn't a rebel per-say, but she really didn't feel like getting into that conversation.

"So, how long have I been passed out since you got here?"

"Oh just a couple of hours, I'm actually surprised you're already walking. I got shot with a blaster once when I was a kid, just nicked me in the side but I was out for at least a week." Elle smirked, quickly growing incredibly fond of this happy-go-lucky pilot. "But I'm not a Jedi so my body works a bit differently-wow I am rambling and making a fool of myself." Poe stuffed his hands in to his pockets and glanced around anxiously.

"Do I make you nervous, Mr. Dameron?" Elle asked him, a suspicious leer in her gaze. Poe smiled, a sort of shy smile but still confident.

"No?" He laughed nervously. Elle gave him a look of light indignation. "Okay yeah, a little bit."

Elle smirked. Good that makes two of us, she thought to herself.

"So how long will you all be staying here?" Elle asked softly picking a few melon berries off a bush.

"As long as you need us I suppose." Elle nodded and offered him her palm full of berries. Poe smirked and took a couple. He popped one in his mouth and closed his eyes in pleasure. "You know the last time I had one of these I was probably ten years old."

Elle smiled, herself enjoying the sweet/sour taste of the berries. Then she got an idea, if only to test out her strength after her injury. Slowly she focused on a bush in the back of the green room and force pulled a Jogan fruit to the middle of the room.

"What about one of these?"

Poe watched her float the fruit with a slight awe struck expression as it passed his face. He picked it out of the air and tossed it up and caught it a few times and gave her a smile.

"Now if I had that ability I would not be using it to pick fruit." Elle smirked.

"What would you use it for—" Elle paused for a moment and sucked in a breath. Without warning the pain dug into her brain like a saw. BB-8 started beeping and rushed over to her as she fell to her knees.

"Elle? Are you okay?" Poe said as he kneeled in front of her, BB-8 beeped at him. This happens all the time. Poe nodded and turned his attention to Elle who was clinching her teeth with her hands running through her hair. Poe held a look of panic on his face as Elle began breathing heavily. Gently Poe placed his hands on her shoulders, sitting directly in front of her and started speaking softly to her. "Hey, come back. You can push it out, just listen to my voice."

Elle slowed down her breathing and opened her eyes. The pain had…her mind raced as she was surprised to see Poe in front of her, his eyes searching her in a rush. The pain had completely subsided, in seconds. The headaches usually lasted ten minutes, not...seconds. Elle felt Poe's hands softly rubbing her shoulders in an attempt at comfort.

"Does that happen a lot?" Poe asked.

"Yeah, ever since I ended up here its nearly every day. But they typically last...a lot longer than that." Elle said and Poe gained a rather cocky but still gentle smile. He offered his hand and helped her stand. Suddenly Elle gripped her side, Poe held her tightly as she lifted her hand covered in blood.

"I think you might have popped a stitch or two." Poe said.

* * *

Doctor Post restitched Elle's side as she sat up on a table in the Resistance ship, where she offered to stay awake in trade of anesthesia. And despite the pain Elle paid it no mind as she could not stop thinking about what had just happened.

She started having another headache, feeling that drilling and prying within her mind, when suddenly she was brought out of it by a voice, Poe's voice.

She watched Poe in the corner of the room as he himself watched the doctor stitch her side back up, chewing his fingernail nervously.

Elle looked at the patches on his jacket, his hair, the blaster at his side, he was a complete picture of a Resistance pilot. Poster boy. Elle had met a few pilots in her day, typically trigger happy, adrenalin junkies. Not that that was a bad thing. Poe seemed different, or at least had more attributes than the typical pilot.

But then Elle felt different. The air she breathed seemed different, off some how. Of course she had a very trying couple of days, and given the fact she hasn't seen another human in over a year she's seen an exorbitant amount of them lately.

Elle just...felt at an odds.

Post finished with her stitches and patched her up again. "Now I would normally suggest someone to refrain from extraneous activity but your wound is healing a lot faster than I'm used to."

Elle smirked. "Yeah, one of the many side effects."

"You say side effect—I say a gift." Post packed his medical supplies, "Either way I think I'd like to stay for at least one more day to check on the healing, if that's alright with you, Miss Gana?"

Elle sucked in a breath and nodded reluctantly. "Are you sure the Resistance can spare a doctor for two days?"

"For you, we can." Elle nodded, but unsure of what he really meant.

Elle hopped down from the table and walked toward the door. She turned for a moment and pondered her words. "Just till tomorrow right?" Post nodded, "Good." Elle nodded and snuck a glance at Poe for a split second before she left.


	8. Chapter 8

In her bathroom Elle stripped down to her underclothes and looked at herself in the mirror. The scratches on her back were gone but she still felt them, she felt his fingernails on her skin and the tight pressure of his hand on her neck. She closed her eyes, her hands resting on the sink.

Elle breathed in and out, slowly, testing her new stitching. It was tighter and the microfiber still made it difficult to breathe. But she made due. She slowed her breathing then, and kept her mind open, just slightly.

In a moment she felt the soft warmth of the force gliding through her consciousness. She felt her wound and every particle of her skin that was damaged. She felt her ship, and the snow. She felt the Resistance ship and everyone inside. She felt Poe, still distant but there. She felt him fidgeting. At that she smiled.

But then she felt the First Order ship, and the death on the inside. She did not regret protecting herself and her planet. She knew the First Order was bad, and she certainly wasn't good. Though, most Jedi hardly bat an eye at death. So she wasn't about to.

Then there was a pull, it was soft at first.

Elle felt hands around her neck again, soft and large hands. They constricted her breath and she began to choke. Her eyes flung open and she fell out of her trance and onto the floor. But for a split second, in the mirror before she fell she thought she saw something. Someone. Quickly she jumped up and looked around but there was no one in sight. She breathed out, feeling a slight pain in her side.

She needed to breathe, it was too hot. She slipped her outer layer of clothing back on and quickly rushed outside.

She sat in the snow, holding her hand out to catch some snow falling from the sky when suddenly a deep thud hit her door from inside the ship. And another, Elle jumped back at every thud.

Slowly she unlocked the door and her lightsaber flew straight past her into the snow. She grabbed it and thought herself silly, it must have thought she called for it. Though she did not remember doing so.

Elle turned and jumped again upon seeing Poe watching her a few feet away.

"Did I scare you?"

Elle held her lightsaber up, "Not quite enough." She said, meaning if he had she probably would have sliced him in half.

Poe looked at the saber and chuckled. "You know I never actually held one of those things till today. They're a lot lighter than I expected."

"Oh you were the one that brought it from the uh, other ship? Thank you."

Poe nodded, "Even cleaned a bit of the blood off too." Elle smirked and put it in her holster.

"Did you need something or do you particular enjoy the frigid cold?"

Poe laughed nervously, "Yeah, I actually wanted to see if you were up to joining me for dinner-us, I mean us, everyone-else." Poe stammered but Elle nodded.

"I'd love to. Only if Pax can come."

"Of course." Poe smiled, "The more the merrier, as they say."

"Who says that?" Elle asked, midstep to her ship.

"Oh, just-people."

"Right." Elle smirked and walked into her ship, "I just have to change and I'll be right over."

Poe gave her a thumbs up and the door slid shut.

* * *

The dinner with the Resistance medics and Poe was nice. They chatted about this and that, First Order things and Resistance things, all the while Elle listened and responded respectfully. She had forgotten what it was like to have dinner with other people. Ever since Killian Elle had eaten every meal alone, save for a begging dog at her feet.

The entire dinner Elle could not for the life of her, keep her eyes off Poe. He was happy, and comfortable, talkative-all around people person. He was aggressive, which she liked, and recalled him mentioning he was a Commander, which definitely made sense.

Elle wished in some sense she had the same comfortability within herself. But she was doomed with a perpetual desire for isolation.

When the early evening had come to a close and the evening's snow storm was about to begin, Elle left for her own ship.

BB-8 beeped at her suggestively when she arrived back.

"What?" She asked, "Do you have a fried circuit, what are you talking about?" The little droid bobbed its head and whirred, "Poe? Are you serious? No, I do not like someone I've only known for a day...Yes I did like you after a day, but you're different...because you just are BB...Okay Pax is a dog, everyone likes dogs...no I know you don't." She chuckled and glanced out the bay windows. She sighed and made her way to her quarters, "We'll talk about this later, okay?" And before the droid had a second to respond Elle's door slid shut.

* * *

Later that evening a loud knocking could be heard from the door of the ship. Elle sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. She was eternally grateful for the Resistance to help her out but she was getting quickly exhausted by with with every passing moment.

With reluctance Elle set her journal down and walked toward the door. She pressed the comm.

"Who is it?"

"It's Poe."

Elle hesitated before opening the door. Poe leaned against the ship with a smirk on his face and a bottle in his hand. The snow of the storm had slowed but Poe's coat was still covered in it.

"It's a bit late don't you think?" Elle said, gesturing toward the bottle.

"Well, I was just about to sit down for a nice drink but then I thought I'd share. I can leave though, if I'm interrupting anything." Elle nearly rolled her eyes at him, smooth as a river rock.

"Well get in, you're letting the snow in."

Poe stepped in and quickly shed his coat as Elle shut the door. Pax ran up to Poe and jumped up on him.

"Hey buddy." Poe scratched his head and smiled at Elle. "So, care for a drink?"

Without any response Elle turned and took two glasses out of her cabinet. Poe sat himself at her table, taking a glance at the leather bound journal on the top. He twisted the cork off and poured two glasses for each of them.

Elle took a sip and coughed out a bit. Poe chuckled, taking a sip, hardly reacting to the taste.

"So, is there a reason you decided to socialize in the middle of the night during a blizzard?" Elle asked.

"Are you always this skeptical?"

"Always." She smirked and took another sip. Poe smiled.

"If you must know—I always have a little trouble sleeping on missions, I looked outside, noticed the lights on…thought I'd drop in and see if you needed some company." Poe put up his hands and Elle nodded.

"Well you will find a good companion in me, I hardly get any sleep on a normal night." BB-8 whirred out from the corner, seemingly minding its own business as it tapped her leg with its dome. Elle leaned down. "Oh no, it's alright, go ahead and go into low power mode." It beeped again and Poe's eyes narrowed. "I'll be fine tonight, BB. Thank you for asking." BB-8 beeped in farewell and rolled away, sluggishly.

"What did he mean by your dreams?" Poe asked.

Elle sighed, "Oh it's nothing." Elle silently hoped he would leave the subject, Poe seemed to sense her discomfort and changed the subject. "I never got the chance to thank you, for this morning."

Poe shook his head, "Don't mention it."

Elle smirked and took another sip.

* * *

Elle learned many things about Poe, and in turn gave away several personal facts of her own to him. Facts that in any normal situation Elle would never disclose, but with the alcohol, and the thought of knowing she will probably never meet this man again, she came to the conclusion of—what could it harm?

Poe was sweet, even when mildly inebriated he left fall his natural air of braggadocio. And strangely, Elle felt comfortable around him. Which was a shame.

"You're a bit of a hermit, aren't you?"

"You could say that, but I like this place."

"Why are you here, exactly? All by yourself?"

"Well I could tell you that, but then I'd have to kill you." She winked at him.

Pax shyly walked up to the two, and jumped up, placing both his front paws on Elle's thigh.

"What is it?" She asked Pax who whined and licked the tip of her nose. She scratched his ear and he leaned into her hand. "Oh, is that so?" She smirked.

"You understand him?" Poe asked.

"In a way, yes. Dogs don't really speak any language other than 'dog', but it's not hard to understand what he wants. " Elle chuckled and kissed the top of Pax's head. Then Pax walked over to Poe, looking up at him with that glint in his eye. "He wants you to pet him."

Poe smiled and gave him a good scratch and pet on the head.

"I didn't know dogs still existed. I've only read about them."

"I didn't know either until I came upon Pax when I landed here. I'm still not certain how old he is." Elle watched as Pax licked Poe's hand and settled himself at his feet. Pax must really like this pilot, Elle thought. After a moment of silence Poe spoke up again.

"So we have a game we play on the ship when things get slow."

"Do things often get slow during a war?"

"More often than you would think," Poe winked, "So, it's a drinking game where most of the rules don't matter."

* * *

Elle was concentrating hard, harder than she ever had before. She stood two feet from the table, staring at an object upon the surface intently. Slowly the object in question, a glass full of alcohol, levitated about an inch off the surface and flew to the other side of the table. Elle jumped up, fists in the air; not a single drop was lost.

"Yes!" She exclaimed.

"No!" Poe groaned, "That's cheating!"

"How can I cheat in a game where the rules don't matter? Also you never said a word about not using the force. Drink up, pilot." Elle smirked, leaning into his shoulder. Poe took the shot and winced at the hard liquid falling down his throat.

Poe leaned against the edge of the table and smirked at her.

"I think you win this one Elle." He sighed and Elle smiled, "How's your side?"

Elle shrugged, "Haven't had any problems, so hopefully that's good."

Poe nodded and threw an arm over her shoulder. "Good."

Despite the arm pulling her closer to him, and the involuntary movement of her own arm around his back, Elle felt a pull toward him. Like gravity.

"It's a bit late, Poe. You should get some rest before you have to fly your crew out of here tomorrow."

Poe waved it off, "It's hardly a klick away, the ship is just outside the hemisphere by now." Elle nodded and the overwhelming scent of his jacket filled her nose. Rosewater and leather. "But you're probably right, it is a bit late." Poe took his arm from around Elle's shoulders and slipped his coat and scarf on. Elle grabbed half empty bottle he had brought over and held it out to him but he shook his head, "Keep it. That way you'll remember me every time you sit down for a drink."

Elle rolled her eyes but complied, setting it back on the table.

"See you tomorrow." She said softly at the door and Poe nodded.

"Tomorrow." He paused for a moment, just looking at her but quickly smiled and looked down. Elle opened the door.

"You'll be okay making it back over there, right?"

"I should be. But if I pass out in a snow bank and die, just know that I had a great night with you." He spoke loudly, with slight melodrama, over the roaring winds.

"Me too." Elle said just as Poe turned to leave. She turned quickly and suddenly felt the alcohol hit her. She ushered herself to a chair and sighed, slipping her glasses off and rubbing her eyes.

Closing her eyes felt so good, so peaceful. BB-8 rolled over with a glass of water and Elle almost cried. Exactly what she needed.

Elle sat at the table for a while, rethinking the night she'd just had. An odd, unusual night, just yesterday she was minding her own business, living on her own on her deserted planet. Then tonight she was drinking and socializing with a pilot who had come to her planet after a First Order ship landed here for some unknown reason.

What a day. She chuckled to herself.

She finished the glass of water and noticed she had been sitting at the table for at least an hour. She sighed and went to grab her glasses when suddenly a gust of cold air caught her attention, the metallic scratch of the door opening. She slipped her glasses on quickly and looked at the door.

Poe stood there, wearing just his leather jacket, shivering and covered in snow, but a determined look on his face. He stepped over to her then, with quick intent. Elle stood, confused, worried something was wrong.

"Poe, you're covered in sno-" Poe grabbed her head and pulled her to his lips. Her warm lips clashing with the icy coldness of his. She sighed into him and pulled herself even closer.

Slowly Poe pulled away, "Sorry that was rude, I should have asked."

Elle chuckled and kissed him again. Poe held her hips and ran his hand through her hair, moaning into her mouth.

"That was very rude what you just did, and you tracked snow all over my ship."

"Oh I'm sorry," he said softly, his lips barely an inch from hers, "I'll clean it up tomorrow."

* * *

 **A/N: As aways I love to hear what you think, this story is very quickly becoming close to my heart and I think about it constantly. This story is taking an interesting turn than what I had originally thought, but I'm very excited for the future! Please share your thoughts as they are always welcomed.**


	9. Chapter 9

Again, a long while ago…

Elle stood still, feeling the ground beneath her feet, feeling the air and the wind in her hair and on her skin. Soft like a breath. The blindfold around her eyes shielded her vision, but she really didn't need to see. Not really anyway. She saw everything with the force.

She connected with it and could feel her entire environment. The wooden staff in her hands felt light and cold—hard, and she felt two figures in the space with her, but only one spoke. Killian, her mentor, spoke softly about the importance of combat, with a saber and hand to hand. And distilling the idea of fair fight and the importance of respect.

"While you may be quite versed in hand to hand, I think you need some work with visualizing your surroundings and fighting against another who's strength and skill equal your own or far exceed it. Are you ready?"

"Always." Elle said. Still blind to the person in front of her but she felt a strong connection to them, to him. In her mind he was becoming more clear. She felt him jump forward but she dodge his first jab. Then another. She heard a sigh come from him and she quickly lunged forward, knocking against his own staff then she caught him in the back, forcing him to the ground.

"You gotta be kiddin' me." The man muttered to himself and Elle smiled. She faintly heard Killian chuckle.

"Let's go again." Elle insisted. The man stood back up and she readied herself. She hear the shuffle of his feet but his upper body movement seemed off. Quickly she caught his staff above her head and yanked it out of his hands, now with two. She threw it back to him and he caught it. "Come on, old man."

"Old man?" He chuckled and went for her again but she blocked every move. Then he found an opening, striking a blow to her ankles and knocking her onto her back. He stood above her, casting a long shadow. "Watch your feet kid, they're your biggest weakness—if it can even be called that." He chuckled to himself.

Elle nodded and slipped her blind-fold off. She saw the man standing above her, blond graying hair with a neatly trimmed beard in white robes. He held out his hand and she took it as she stood.

"Elle Gana."

"I know," he shook her hand and smiled brightly, "Luke."

"Pleasure to meet you, Luke."

"She is endlessly frustrating, isn't she?" Killian spoke as Luke approached him, leaving Elle to her stretches. Luke let out a huff.

"Frustrating, but skilled."

"She will not fight without being provoked. Never seen the natural trait in a Jedi before, even untrained she makes the decisions of a master. Instinctual. Practical."

Luke paused, "Then your prediction was correct. I must say Nori I was hesitant on you taking this girl in but she's proven herself."

"You know who she reminds me of?" Killian said softly, watching Elle take a seat on the hillside and close her eyes. Luke smirked, "She does things her own way, much like an old friend of mine.

Luke watched Elle as she slowly breathed out, asleep letting the binary sunset wash over her, "I thought so too. Qui-Gon Jinn."

* * *

Currently…

 _"Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone's hand is the beginning of a journey. At other times, it is allowing another to take yours."_

"Did you always want to be a pilot?" Elle asked Poe softly. The fire across the room danced a soft yellow haze across their skin. It was dreamy, and mystical.

"Always. My mother was a pilot for the rebellion before I was born. I think I was born knowing how to fly an X-wing." Elle smiled gently, thinking about her own life and the struggle with her so called destiny. She wondered to herself what it would have been like to choose without the guilt.

"And you enjoy it? Flying for the Resistance?"

"Of course." He said softly, "I've never questioned it. It—it feels right

to me, always has." Elle touched his cheek and traced the sharp bone to his temple. "Did you want to be a Jedi? Were either of your parents Jedi?" Poe asked excitedly and Elle chuckled.

"I didn't know what a Jedi was. My mother and father were farmers, either they were blind to my sensitivity to the force, or were too afraid to bring it up. It was a tense time after all. I think they were trying to protect me." Poe nodded.

"So how did you find out? You know, that you were force sensitive?"

Elle huffed out, "I was about five at the time, it was one morning and I

was helping my mother garden when a large ship landed very close to our home, the wind nearly ripping our flowers from the flower beds. I got so upset and marched straight over to the ship and force pushed it as far as I could. Then I got on board as the ramp was lowering and pushed the man walking out across the bay and stole his weapon, which happened to be his lightsaber." Elle chuckled, "That man turned out to be Killian Nori."

"You're kidding me?"

"Nope, and he never let me forget that day either. Calls me too gutsy for my own guts-called, at least...from that day he took me under his wing for the next twelve years." Elle looked at Poe who was leaning against his fist, propped up by his elbow, sharing with her a completely enthralled and fascinated expression.

"That's amazing. He must have kept you a secret, we all thought the Jedi were extinct except for Luke Skywalker." Elle drew circles into the fabric of the sheets as she thought.

"He wanted me on the sidelines, to only intervene when things got really bad—if they did at all. He assumed I would be abused, or hunted. It terrified me-it still terrifies me...I don't know if that First Order ship landed here by mistake, or if they landed here for a purpose-and if that purpose was for the planet...or for me. And to answer your first question—no, I don't think I ever wanted to be a Jedi…but the choice wasn't mine." Poe took her hand and gently caressed it.

"The fight, out there-it's dangerous for all of us. I know you're scared

but Elle...the things I've seen you do I didn't even know the Jedi were

capable of doing. There's so much strength within you and I feel like it's not being used to its full potential. Your full potential. You may not have wanted to be a Jedi but you still choose to be."

Elle chuckled, "You sound like BB."

"BB is a smart droid. You are far more brave than I could ever be, Elle." His hand rested over her heart, his thumb caressed the smooth skin of her chest. "I can feel it."

Elle closed her eyes and sighed out. "You want to know something really terrible?"

Poe wrapped his arm around her waist and rested his head on her shoulder. "What?"

"You're right, I am a Jedi and I'm breaking the biggest code I committed to during my training."

"Which is?"

"You."

"Me? Is there a specific code about staying clear of Resistance pilots or something?" He chuckled.

Elle smirked but stayed serious, "No, this. Intimacy, forming attachment...it's forbidden."

"Jedi aren't allowed to love." Poe said softly, not as a question. He knew it just as much as she did.

"It makes us vulnerable to the dark side, emotion. It's a bunch of nonsense." Poe smiled, "We're supposed to repeat this mantra of "No emotion, only peace. No death, only the Force." But I find comfort in my ability to love, a rebellion of love. If the Jedi cannot love, then how can we possibly understand the totality of life we vow to protect? I've always thought the real reason people turn to the dark side is their lack of empathy, not the embrace of it. But what do I know?"

Poe nodded, considering her words, "If you think about it, being one of the last Jedi in the galaxy you can really just pick and choose which codes you want to follow, since there isn't anyone to hold you accountable anymore." Poe said simply and Elle chuckled.

"You have a good point there," Poe kissed her jaw and ear and cheek and landed at her lips. Slowly Elle crawled on top of him and smiled. "Have any other good points you'd like to share?"

Poe gripped her hips tightly, "More than you can imagine."

* * *

They spoke together for what seemed like hours, soft whispers and laughs and kisses. Poe slipped in several times how much of a difference she could make in the resistance, but Elle felt neutral still, and mildly scared.

By the end of the night, a night that turned out very differently than Elle had anticipated, Poe left.

"I don't know when I'll be able to come back." He said, running his fingers through her hair, sadness in his voice. "You could come back with me though. You could see me everyday." Elle smiled but shook her head.

"Maybe someday."

"Alright, that's all I can hope for." He accepted defeat as Elle slipped her arms around his torso and thought about that word: hope. "Oh and I put a communication antennae on your BB-8 and rerouted the default system, so he should be able to connect to mine directly, you know, just in case."

Elle smiled gently, "In case of what?"

"In case you're particularly lonely or missing me-or, you know, you get shot with another blaster, I'd like to know." Elle chuckled and Poe took a step back, "I'll see you soon, Ellie." Elle rolled her eyes at the nickname and waved.

"Be careful."

"Never." Poe retorted, gave her a wink, and climbed into the ship.

Elle sighed and watched the ship fly out of the hemisphere. She'll miss him, but she enjoyed her solitude. Especially after a busy couple of days.

She stood outside for a while letting the previous day's experiences settle in her memory, enjoying the soft cold breeze and the snow falling down, as always.

Suddenly she felt a snow ball hit her back. She turned around quickly to see BB-8 perk up and turn it's dome away from her, pretending like she wasn't there. Elle smiled and picked up a clump of snow and threw it at it. BB-8 whirred and started building another as Elle quickly ran away.

She was swiftly caught up in how happy she was in that moment and after Poe, this flighty feeling of felicity. A contentment that filled her to her toes.

But this brief moment of happiness wouldn't last long.


	10. Chapter 10

**CW: Mentions of death of an animal**

* * *

A few days later Elle woke up to BB-8 whirring around her bed, a message dinging out repeatedly.

Elle crawled out of the bed, her head throbbing from lack of movement throughout the night. She had been sleeping quite soundly, waking up in the same position she fell asleep in. She considered it a stroke of luck, she suspected her dreams-or more aptly at this point, nightmares-would return soon.

Elle all but rolled off the edge of the bed and pressed the message. BB-8 projected the holovid into the middle of the room.

It was Poe, kneeling in what looked like his room, a soft smile on his face. Elle suddenly felt very calm, a soft and shimmery calm like velvet to the cheek.

 _"Hey Ellie. I hope you're doing well all the way on that little planet of yours, hope it's not snowing too much. But I know you like it. We're doing good here, just trying to outrun the First Order whenever we can for the time being..."_ Poe rubbed the side of his face and stared comfortably into the camera recording him. Then he struggled to contain his smile, _"I miss you like crazy, Elle. I can't stop thinkin' about you."_ There was suddenly a shuffle outside the hall and Poe glanced up and sighed, _"Looks like I gotta go for now, but I look forward to hearing from you. See you around."_

The holovid froze on Poe's face and Elle reached forward, touching the pixilated blue cheek. The moment of calm shifted to doubt, and in that moment she questioned her feelings. Was this the smartest choice? To become so involved, so enthralled with and by someone like Poe. Did it matter? She had been in love before when she was younger, despite the lectures from Killian. She had been in love before and she had been foolish.

Within the Jedi Order attachment and possession were forbidden. But Elle was not a jealous person. Jealously was a dark thing. Her brush with the dark side, not so long ago echoed still, as always, in her mind. In the pads of her fingers every time she touched her lightsaber. Every time she thought about using it, or when she did, she felt it within her. What she had done, she was not proud of. She would never find pride in such a rash action. Typically she could trust her instincts, Killian had an endless, bottomless trust in them but now she was not so sure.

Suddenly the image glitched and faded away. She sighed and BB-8 rolled around whimsically in front of her, beeping away thoughtlessly.

"No," She shook her head, clearing her mind quickly, "I'll send him a message later tonight. Today's the big day, remember?"

Elle packed up her utility belt and hovered her hand over the box that held her lightsaber. The feeling arched in her, sending chills down her spine. She paused though and conceded to grab the blaster next to it instead.

"Come on everyone, let's get going." She called and BB-8 whirred out followed by Pax out the door. It was a nice day, no snow falling from the sky and no breeze. Everything was still and grey. With that stillness Elle started her trek up Colt Mountain.

When the trio reached the top the silence of the planet was palpable. It was thick and felt like honey on her skin. Elle slowly edged her way toward the middle opening, pushing caution out the door.

Ella slammed a grappling hook into the ice and tested its security by yanking at it. Satisfied, she nodded toward BB-8 who popped out a flashlight for her. She caught it swiftly.

"If I'm not back up in two hours, you know what to do." BB-8 nodded its dome and Elle slowly let herself down the rope, placing the flashlight in her mouth. Six inches at a time Elle let herself down into the darkness of the summit.

* * *

Just a mere hour later Elle lifted herself out of the mountain opening and grunted as she rolled into the snow. She picked the grappling hook out of ice and took the rope up.

Then she glanced around, where was BB-8 and Pax?

The air was silent as she scanned the area. She placed the hook in the nook of a tree and continued to look around.

"BB! Pax!" Elle yelled out, confusion filling her brow. It wasn't like them to just wander off. She passed through a collection of thick trees and peered around. She began to feel a deep sense of dread and darkness, a feeling that brought a slight pain and tingle to her fingertips. She yelled out again, but it seemed like her voice just echoed. Like she was completely alone. It was then that she regretted not bringing her lightsaber.

Suddenly out from behind a tree the butt of a blaster came down on her head and Elle fell to the ground unconscious.

A stormtrooper spoke into a comm, "We got her sir, bringing her aboard now."

* * *

Elle woke up with a groan and a searing pain in her head. Gradually her eyes opened and she found herself in a bright, hot room, laying on a metal surface. Sweat coated her skin and she quickly removed her outer layer of clothing and heaved out a breath. She sat up reluctantly, her eyes blurry, glasses missing. She was in a cell of some sort. What had happened? Her memory was even fuzzier than her vision at the moment.

Then there was a loud clanking at the door, a lock being opened and it swung open. Two stormtroopers came in and ordered her to stand. Then they grabbed her arms and pulled her out of the room and down the hall.

She struggled mildly against them but the headache and the added over-heating caused for a momentary lack of response.

They drug her into a darkly lit room. They cuffed her to a chair in the middle of the room. Suddenly she felt her focus return and she kicked one trooper across the room. She broke out of the cuffs and grabbed the blaster from the other and shot him.

Quickly another trooper ran in and stunned her, another one walked in and threw her back into the chair and cuffed her again.

* * *

"Height, Five foot, 3 inches. Weight, 115 pounds. Healthy, athletic, requires specific eye wear. Blaster wound healing on left hip, looks like it was treated by a professional. She definitely has some involvement with the Resistance." A doctor read off to General Hux outside the room containing Elle.

"Good. Anything else particularly out of the ordinary?" He asked.

"Not physically, no." The doctor responded. A trooper next to the doctor spoke up.

"We confiscated a utility belt and two blasters from her person, we lost her droid but it was an old unit, most likely held useless information. And if it means anything, she's a fighter. We're still waiting on results from the scavenger ship massacre sent down earlier this week, but by the looks of it she acted alone."

Hux smiled sickly, "Good, Supreme Leader Ren will be pleased."

* * *

Elle slowly opened her eyes, breathing out heavily. There was a bright light on her from above, and she felt like she was burning up. Beads of sweat fell from her temples, her hair stuck to the skin of her neck. She breathed out heavily. She wasn't used to such thick, hot air. Her body felt like it was going into mild shock.

Groaning out, she tried to focus her mind over her body's callous reaction to air over 50 degrees. She tested the cuffs around each wrist but they were tight and unmoving. She sighed and twisted her head around, attempting to find a way out of this situation.

Just stay calm, she told herself. Trying to slow her heart rate so she could breath in the thick air and focus her mind. And as she was beginning to feel more inside herself the door slid open and a tall, skinny man strode in with two stormtroopers trailing behind. He slowly walked up to her, his sickly pale skin reflected the light of the room-making his eyes seem more sinister and dangerous. The door slid shut and the two troopers flanked each side, ready for action.

The man bent at his hip and leered close to Elle's face.

"A little warm in here isn't it?" Elle refused to say a word, she just looked straight in his eyes, emotionless. His breath smelled like rot. "A bit different climate than you're used to, I'd imagine."

He stood up straight and fixed his hands behind his back, a powerful stance for anyone attempting to intimidate a captive. Though Elle ignored him, mostly, and began to conceive a plan of escape. First out of the room, then out of the ship. Maybe she could steal an escape pod, she'd never flown one before but they couldn't be all that difficult. Poe did it easily enough.

Elle observed the man, who was standing in front of her silently now, he himself equally observant. She noticed he didn't have a weapon on him, that she could see anyway, and with his long robes he was probably some sort of general, someone with high importance-or the internal perception of high-importance.

"Listen now, we are in a position to make this as painless as possible-if only you answer our questions and answer them honestly, then we won't have a problem. And your condition for release will be met and assessed forthright." He waited for a response from her but Elle just stared at him. He began, "Why were you on Astoria?"

Elle then sighed, content with that first question. For now, they had no idea who she was-which was good. Very good. They just cared about the planet. They did not know who she really was.

"I will not ask you once more, why were you on the planet Astoria?"

Elle blinked then for a few beats, then decided to comply, "Because I live there."

The man visibly clinched his jaw, and Elle almost smirked.

"You voluntarily live on a snow planet in the middle of an abandoned system with little to no resources?"

"Yes." She said softly, confidently.

"Why?"

"Because I enjoy the weather."

The man sucked in a breath, calming himself. Elle's attitude was slipping under his skin.

"And it has nothing to do with the coltide crystal said to be housed in the center of the planet?"

"I'm sorry, a crystal? Unless it was made of ice I've never seen any crystal." Elle said innocently. The man narrowed his eyes at her then, in an attempt-she assumed, to decipher whether she was lying or not. After a moment he seemed satisfied.

"So you live on this planet, in the middle of an abandoned system with no resources and nothing but a small cargo ship accompanied by an out-of-date droid and an endangered mutt." Elle bit her tongue at his references to Pax and her droid, "You'll be pleased to know we searched your ship and found nothing of question. Your droid is still missing but we did find the dog."

Elle's breath hitched and she breathed out heavily, nervous. Pax was just a dog, could barely defend himself again crystal snakes, much less the First Order.

"Interesting creatures, dogs." He pondered, stepping around the room. "Sad, weak creatures, it's no wonder there's only a few left in the galaxy-if any."

"What did you do with my dog?" Elle asked, a hint of threat in her voice. The man quickly turned to her and eyed her clinched fists.

"We killed your dog, hardly a practical use of a blas-" The man suddenly coughed internally, and rubbed his neck.

"You killed my dog..." Elle said quietly, looking at the floor. They killed Pax for no reason but to kill him. The man started coughing, like he had something stuck in his throat. Elle smirked to herself through the anger, this part of her-she hated it. This coldness was so easily attainable. She was not a jealous Jedi, but she was obviously easily attached-even to an animal.

The troopers rushed over to the man but she used the Force to throw them back against the wall. She thrust her fist forward as far as it would go inside the cuff and she threw the man face first into the wall. Satisfied the the crunch of his nose she let him go and breathed out, equalizing her breath, letting go of the Force-if only a little. It stayed there with her, ready to act.

The man groaned out and breathed heavily. He struggled to stand but quickly punched in the numbers to open the door as he yelled out, "Retrieve the Supreme Leader immediately!"

Elle rolled her eyes and adjusted herself in her seat. She thought of Pax and how gentle and quiet he was. How good of a companion he was. A pain in her heart was suddenly present and it would not leave anytime soon.

The door slid shut and the last thing she saw in the hallway was the man, his face covered in gushing blood. Proud of herself, would be an understatement.

* * *

 **A/N: Please let me know what you think!**


	11. Chapter 11

"What's the issue, Hux? I figured you could handle a simple interrogation." Kylo Ren spoke through his mask, as he approached Hux from behind. Quickly Hux turned, a red soaked towel at his nose. His voice was more nasally and sharp than normal.

"She's force-sensitive, Ren. The girl they found on Astoria." Kylo turned his head the closed door. Behind the wall was the woman they picked up but he felt nothing through them. No force sense, no connection. Nothing.

"Are you positive?"

"Well I didn't purposefully break my own nose, did I?" If Kylo wasn't wearing his mask Hux would have seen the Supreme Leader give him an annoyed glare. Kylo sighed to himself and slowly stepped into the room to deal with this himself.

* * *

Elle heard the door slide open and suddenly felt a deep, dark, heavy force hit her. Like the wave of an ocean or a gust of wind. She looked up at the man who walked in, cloaked in black with a mask covering his face.

The man stepped in but paused at the door. It slid shut instantly, the sound like a guillotine, he stood so close to it the draft wafted the edge of his cape in a light wave.

There was silence. It was thick, palpable. A tension between the two was dark, foreboding. Elle felt uncomfortable, the hardness of the chair and the cuffs around her wrists now seemed constricting, even torturous. Her breath became heavy. Whoever this was, she assumed the Supreme Leader, he was force-sensitive. But she also felt...something else.

She felt cold. And an ache in her lower belly that she had never felt before.

"It's you..." The mechanical voice spoke, it was soft but the voice diffuser made it seem sinister and harsh.

"Who are you?" She asked quietly, hesitantly, careful with her words. The man was silent, still standing at the door. Elle was confused both by his actions and by her feelings. She felt a familiarity, a scent. She felt like she knew him.

Slowly the man turned and pressed a few buttons on a keypad. Elle thought he was about the leave, but then she heard a faint hum quickly disappear. She looked around and noticed the camera up in the corner had powered down.

Elle looked back at him and narrowed her eyes.

"Are you not afraid?" He asked, Elle tilted her head at this.

"Why would I be afraid?"

"Most people are afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid, just curious." She said honestly.

The man was silent as he stepped forward. He stopped when he was about a foot from her. Elle looked up at him as he knelt down and became face-to-face with her. Or face-to-mask.

"What's your name?" He asked her. Elle was still confused, why did he want to know her name?

"What's your name?" She responded back. Another pause from the man.

"You don't know who I am, do you?" He inquired, though it was less of a question, more of an observation.

"No, I'm sorry."

"But you feel it, don't you?" He asked, his words sharp.

Elle blinked heavily and breathed in and out slowly, "Of course I feel it."

"But you don't know who I am?" She shook her head cautiously. The man stood back up and gently released the clip of his helmet. He took it off and Elle saw a handsome man, with long black hair, and a scar along the left side of his face.

Elle's mouth fell open slightly and she began to feel her heart palpitating erratically.

"I...I don't understand..." She whispered, if only to herself. It was him. The man. The man from her dreams. She didn't understand, she knew he was partially real to her imagination, but not...completely real. And then she smelt it, bergamot. Oranges. Him.

The man grabbed a chair and sat directly in front of her.

"Who are you?" He asked, looking into her eyes as though he might find some kind of answer in them.

"I'm no one."

"What's your name?" He asked softly.

"Elle—My name is Elle."

"And you are with the force, aren't you Elle?"

She hesitated, her name on his lips was confusing her. Nothing was making sense.

"You already know the answer to that."

He made a soft grunt of recognition, nodding his head. "You broke my general's nose without touching him."

"He killed my dog." The man narrowed his eyes at her again.

"I apologize."

"I don't accept it."

"That's okay. Do you want to know why it's okay? Because I have you here, in this room and you can't escape." He spoke with a soft intentionality and a hint of excitement in his voice.

Elle pondered her predicament and bit her tongue, "I know."

"Why were you on Astoria? Were you sent there to protect something?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

A silence, again. The man looked as though he was concentrating hard. Elle felt the tiniest little pain in the back of her head for just a moment, then it was gone.

"Why can't I see into your mind?" He asked curiously, dangerously.

"Perhaps you aren't trying hard enough."

"Perhaps you're blocking me out." Then a thought came into his mind. "You've been trained."

It was no question to him. He knew it. Elle thought for a moment and decided to try her own hand in a little mind exploring and attempted to look through him.

The man scrunched his brow and quickly jumped from the chair, grabbing her neck and slamming her head against the back of the chair. Elle let out a muted grunt and tried to focus her vision.

"What do you think you're doing?" He whispered harshly as his fingers tightened around her neck.

"You know exactly what I'm doing…Ben."

He clinched his jaw but his fingers let up, if only a little. "Don't call me that." His breath fell onto her cheek and it was hot. They both felt it suddenly. The dream-like state that could drape over them like a thin blanket, if they let it.

His finger let up from her neck and he traced her jaw slowly. It seemed mindless, unintentional, but without hesitation. She breathed out heavily, her lips pulsed. So close.

"What do I call you then?" She asked, barely above a whisper.

"My name is Kylo Ren." He responded, just as quiet. Then slowly he backed away and sat back in the chair. "You ever try to get into my mind again I will kill you, and don't take that lightly-because I will not hesitate." He was calm, assured, and confident. But he didn't scare her.

"Let me go and I'll never even think about you again." She lied.

Another silence as Kylo thought. His eyes searched her still with an unreadable expression.

"Are you with the Resistance? I would think not given no one has attempted a rescue mission-and someone as connected to the force as you would definitely be in their practically non-existent toolbox of assets. You would be someone to protect." Kylo spoke carefully, trying to pinpoint which words she would react to. But she stayed still, refusing to give herself away.

"No I'm not with the Resistance."

"So you have no one." Elle swallowed. Kylo saw it.

"I have myself." Elle contended.

"No one." He said with finality.

Another silence spread over and Elle thought very deeply about her next response. To test the waters, as they were. She had Poe, but not really, only for one day. She did have herself but she also had someone else. Then she went with it, because it was true.

"No…I have you."

Kylo fell silent, this time because of her. His fist suddenly tightened and he looked as though he was holding himself back. From what, Elle did not know.

Suddenly there was a beeping at the door. Kylo clenched his jaw and walked outside the room. As the door slid shut he quickly, briefly held her gaze.


	12. Chapter 12

"What is it?" Kylo asked the trooper who called him from the interrogation room.

"They just found this at the ship on Astoria." The trooper held out a lightsaber to him. Kylo breathed out and grabbed it gently. It was light in his hand, lighter than his at least. The metal was scratched, worn. The surface hardly caught a glint of the light from above. "It doesn't seem to work." The trooper spoke before Kylo tested it out and...nothing.

Kylo hummed to himself and nodded. Either way he would be keeping it.

"Thank you. You're dismissed." Kylo breathed out heavily, still feeling the weight of the saber in his palm. Slowly he walked back to the room. When he entered he watched for a change in expression in Elle's face upon seeing her saber in his hand. But nothing. Not even a twitch of the eye.

Of course, upon seeing it in his possession she was livid. How had they found it? They must have torn her place apart for it. She just hoped BB was safe.

"I'm considering pitying you. A Jedi who's saber doesn't work anymore." Elle held in a smirk but could not fight the content expression that fell over her.

"Why bother to pity me?"

Kylo narrowed his eyes at her and he sat in front of her again, setting the saber aside.

"Because I think you need help." At this she audibly scoffed, to which Kylo clenched his jaw again. "I can help you."

"Why?"

"Because I can see it in you. Feel it...in you." He glanced down at Elle's hands that formed into fists. The heavy air returned and Elle felt like she was burning up from the inside. "You belong here."

"As opposed to..."

"That planet, the resistance..." Elle swallowed and felt the pull inside her. The warmth filling her skin to her toes, not cold anymore - warm, and hot.

"I refuse. I do not belong in this war. I won't fight."

"Unless you're being attacked you'll fight, you murdered an entire squad of my men..." He paused for a while before looking back into her eyes, "But you're stubborn. That's good." Kylo let the smallest smile fall across his lips, "Stubbornness is passion."

"Passion is passion. I have no passion for the First Order."

"You will. Soon." He said simply.

"I refuse." She spat out, trying to calm her body from shaking in anger. "Let me go."

Kylo sat there for a long while, staring at her. Elle had never before been around someone from the Darkside who held a silence like Kylo Ren. It was frightening, stilted, and absorbing. And she felt it in her, that attraction. She had felt it with Poe before, but it was light and momentous, this was different—carnal and uncontrollable. She felt that same pull to the darkness, as she did with Kylo Ren.

Suddenly he waved his hand and the cuffs around her wrists opened. But Elle still sat there, confused. She must stay cautious lest she forget where she was.

"Why?" She asked, referring to the cuffs. And Kylo shifted his shoulders in a way that Elle perceived as a moment of relaxation. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his face closer to her.

"You can trust me." He said, his eyes falling to her lips and her neck.

"I don't think I can." She whispered, her eyes stayed on his - fully aware of his wandering glance.

"I can show you." He spoke, and Elle felt like the two of them were barely inches apart. The hot air between them, the draft of breaths mixing together. She wanted him to show her. But where would that leave her?

Elle shook her head, "No."

Kylo suddenly leaned back and nearly took her breath with him.

"Very well." He said bluntly. He stood and walked out the door after taking her lightsaber. Elle saw him give it to a trooper just as the doors slid shut. He did not look back this time.

* * *

Elle was moved to another room, that was dark and stuffy - darker and stuffier than the room prior. But there was a bed and a small lavatory, a luxury she was not expecting. Elle wasn't about to let herself fall asleep and let her mind become an open playing ground to who knows what, but at least she could be clean.

Hours passed as she sat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Looking for some way out of this mess. In the evening, or what she assumed was the evening, everything was quiet outside the thick door that held her in. But she couldn't just lay here and become helpless. She had to do something to get herself out. She couldn't just lay here exhausted. But if she were to fall asleep, what would happen? Would she dream of the man again? Would she dream of...Kylo Ren?

Elle ran her hands through her hair and groaned. There was no one coming for her. She had no idea whether BB-8 had survived, and if he had would he send a message out? The only possible hope she had was Poe, but even then they weren't close. There would be no reason for him to suspect foul play in her delayed response to his message the prior morning. But maybe, just maybe he would.

But who was she kidding. Just like Kylo said earlier. She had no one.

But then in her flurried, sleepless mind she thought of Poe and his hands, soft and gentle-but possessive and commanding. Elle wished there was a way she could contact him, just to assure he knew where she was...if he cared where she was.

She thought of his lips and his smile, crooked and precocious. He was a light in her mind, the pure representation of it. Happiness. And peace. And…war…

Her eyes fluttered, she was exhausted. Forcing herself to stay awake had always been a difficult task for her in the past. The heaviness of her eyelids and fuzzy thoughts and overwhelming stress was getting to her.

She thought of Poe saving her right before she shut her eyes.

* * *

 **A/N: Sorry for the shortness but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Stay tuned for Chapter 13!**


	13. Chapter 13

Elle's dream was strange, and disconcerting. She laid on her back on a bed, like she had when she had fallen asleep. She heard his voice but couldn't make out his words. He was there with her, his breath on her face. She refused to open her eyes, if she didn't maybe he would go away. His hand fell to her waist as she felt his presence next to the bed.

It was dark, completely pitch black. Elle felt her own breath on her hands as she held the blanket up to her chin, his finger gently caressed the skin beneath her shirt. Kylo held a strong grip to her small hip and she let out a sigh.

"Open your eyes." She heard him say but she refused.

"No." She breathed. Then she felt a hand wrap around her arm, pulling her off the bed. The pull was so harsh she fell off the bed and onto the floor.

* * *

Elle jolted awake as she hit the floor. Her eyes struggled to adjust to the darkness, just as black as her dream. She laid there on the hard floor, goosebumps formed at the surface of her skin and she felt it consume her insides. Slowly Elle pushed herself up, and felt her way toward the sink to wash her face.

Kylo was pulling her, even in her dreams, to the Darkside. And she didn't feel strong enough to fight it.

Suddenly she heard something, like a click, outside her door. Slowly she stepped forward, one foot in front of the other, and listened.

There was silence for a moment, then the door slid open without warning and she saw him there. Her heart rate rose and the chills solidified in her stomach. Kylo stood in front of Elle, looking breathless and mildly helpless. No longer wearing the cape, nor the mask. A more casual outfit and socks, no shoes. His hair was messy like he had just woken up. The dream had effected both of them.

Elle breathed out heavily and without thinking spoke softly, "Show me."

Before Elle had time to consider the gravity of what she had just said Kylo grabbed her head with both hands and gently kissed her. He leaned forward, a foot nudging her back so he could enter the room. Quickly the door slid shut behind him, and Elle wondered whether he used to force to shut it so quickly. But Elle could not think, the spark in her stomach, the chill melting away to be replaced by a fire. She pushed him back against the door and he made a soft grunt before she kissed him again. This time slow, but hard. Intentional.

Kylo held her hips and rubbed his thumbs across the skin under her shirt, like the dream. He kissed her jaw and her neck, biting softly. She felt him, his chest, the fabric of his shirt. In her dreams Kylo seemed smaller, less overpowering. But in this moment, in this room, the man that was pushing her back into the bed had complete control over her. And she wanted it more than anything. She'd wanted it the whole time.

Kylo kissed her and pulled the string from her hair, letting it fall to her shoulders. He ran his hands through it, grasping it for leverage to kiss her once more.

It was so dark in the room the two could only make out vague outlines of each other. But Kylo relished in her skin. His large hands grasped her skin, slipping under her shirt - he felt the bumps of past scars, the small invisible hairs on her skin that led his hands down her spine.

He dusted his fingers over her cheek, over her eyelashes. It was real, more real than she could have ever imagined.

Elle wrapped her arms around his neck, slyly unfastening the button to his shirt in the back. She felt Kylo release a breath, it seemed like a laugh - however small. He pulled her body to his and they felt each other really for the first time. His warm skin against her face, her cheek resting above his heart.

Kylo pushed her onto the bed and hovered over her, his hair falling around her face - tickling her cheeks. His knee rising up between her legs. Their faces so close, their noses touched. How had she ever expected to fight him? This feeling, it was real. And it wasn't dark. It couldn't be. It was light.

She felt his forehead against hers and he whispered softly, "I've needed you for so long."

"I'm here." She said back to him, a moan escaped her lips. "I'm real." She mumbled into his shoulder. Kylo's arms completely wrapped around her back and held her, his face in the crook of her neck.

"I've thought of you every day. Who you were, why you were in my dreams...and here you are, fallen right into my lap." Elle shivered at his lips which softly kissed her collar bone. "Stay with me."

"I'm here." She repeated softly, smelling the bergamot in his hair. "But you know I cannot stay. I am not in this fight."

Kylo held her tighter and sighed into her neck.

"I know..." He lifted his head and then gently kissed her neck just below her ear, earning another shiver from Elle, "Doesn't mean I can't try."

Elle couldn't help but smirk as he continued to kiss her neck.

* * *

Kylo stepped toward the door slowly, agonizingly. Elle knew that once he left, he would be gone. And thing's would go back to the way they were, and she would still need to leave. She couldn't join the Darkside, nor could she stay here as a prisoner to be used, no matter how much she liked it.

"Nothing changes." Kylo still faced the door, he seemed to hesitate, she knew he didn't want to leave. "And I'll find a way out of here."

"I'd like to see you try without fighting."

Elle smirked as he opened the door and left.

* * *

 **A/N: Please let me know what you think! Also, I apologize for the lateness, dealing with a lot of personal issues at the moment. Hope you are all well and one with the force!**


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